Subject: the car

PARENTING IN THE POST-CLINTON ERA

Somewhere in America, next week:

DAD:  Son, come in here, we need to talk.SON:  What's up, Dad?

DAD:  There's a scratch down the side of the car.  Did you do it?

SON:  I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch
the car," that I can say, truthfully, that I scratched the car.

DAD:  Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last
night, and no one else has driven it since.  How can you explain the
scratch?

SON:  Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching
the car.  While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

DAD:  But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. 

So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?

SON:  Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it.Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I"  scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.

DAD:  Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the
mailbox?

SON:  Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the
>street.  I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.

DAD:  So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?
SON:  No sir, that's not my statement.  I'll refer you back to my
original statement that I did not scratch the car.

DAD:  But the car did hit the mailbox, and did the car did get
scratched as a result of this contact?

SON:  Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

DAD:  So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?

SON:  No.  No, that's not correct.  Your question was "Did I scratch the >car?"  From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present when the scratching occurred.  So my answer of "No" when you asked"Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.

DAD:  Where did you learn to be such a smart mouth?

SON:  From The President of the United States.

DAD:  I see